Strawberry Fizzy Drink
by Kain Delo
Summary: A sequel to 'Anxiety and Coffee' which revisits the Sakura who anxiously waited for her coffee in 2016. This time, she's waiting for something else.


This is for all of the law students and future lawyers out there. We'll get through this hell!

* * *

**DATE STARTED: AUGUST 27, 2019**  
**DATE FINISHED: AUGUST 30, 2019**  
**DATE EDITED: FEBRUARY 4, 2020**  
**WORDCOUNT: 1013**

"Parens patriae is an obligation principle that minimizes the risk…"

"Dude, it's lex loci celebrationis."

_Words._

_Words._

_Words._

Sentences, strings of words come out of their mouths like a legalese waterfall and it continued to amaze me. This was my new reality and I still was not used to it.

I shook their voices out of my head as I looked for a place to sit in the crowded coffee shop. My eyes hurt from the red walls and yellow lights. I could smell baked pastries in the distance, mingling with a whiff of spilled ink on wrinkly paper. Every table had a book open and every book had bodies hunched over them, highlighting more words that needed to be memorized.

My body tingled, my breathing slowed and my fingers began to feel clammy. I scanned the room again for an empty table, hoping that I would find one before I started to shake. Walking around the area, there didn't seem to be space for me anywhere. I bit my lip.

My heartbeat quickened.

_This is not the time._

_This is not the place._

Everything is so unfamiliar to me.

There! Close to the cashier was an empty table.

I let out a sigh of relief as I rushed towards it, brushing past shoulders, chairs and backpacks filled with books. I planted my binder on the table and sat down. I waited until the jittery feeling passed and my tongue stopped wiggling uncomfortably inside my mouth like a frog anxiously jumping around. I stretched my arms, hoping that it would help.

I stood up to order but felt my body shake. I almost sat back down but decided to ignore the weird feeling and walked up to the counter to pronounce my order. When I got back to the table, the shaking was still there, annoying me. I stirred my drink and then took out my notebook and a pen, hoping to get some reviewing done.

There was no one sitting in front of me. Nothing but a backpack and a drink accompanied me at the table. My mind flashed back to three years ago when my anxiety was at its peak and I couldn't speak to a stranger without stuttering. When my tears would fall at the slightest embarrassing moment even when no one had seen me.

A breath.

Two breaths.

"Elements of a frustrated felony," I said as I started to go over my notes.

Soon, I was creating my own string of murmured words. I was one with the crowd, fitting in like a missing piece of a puzzle but all the while my hands were sweating and my heart was thumping so hard against my chest.

Laughter piercing through the store's background music and my telltale heart brought me back to the present. I craned my neck to look at what the commotion was. A girl had spilled her iced coffee on herself. She was laughing the loudest out of her friend group. Not at all embarrassed by what had happened. I wish that I could have been her five years ago. I wish I could go back and tell myself that feeling embarrassed was childish.

My eyes went back to my notebook and I started to read again. Then the ringing started. I felt _them _again. The eyes of invisible monsters that taunted me, their talons on my shoulder and their ugly, furry maw in my ear. Whispering bad thoughts again.

_You are alone._

_You are lost._

_You are sad._

The shaking in my leg started to get worse. My nervous twitches became more pronounced. The clamminess from my hands became a waterfall. I started to feel like words were pouring out of my hands, replacing the sweat. A physical manifestation of all the bad thoughts that dripped down to the floor, joining the droplets from my neglected strawberry fizzy drink.

_You are sad._

It began to feel like everyone was screaming at each other. The monster's grip tightened on my shoulders and their malicious grins got wider. I was slowly giving in to them, losing every inch of strength that I had accumulated in three years. I was eighteen and helpless again.

_You are lost._

My lips quivered as the fear settled in and made my body its home. I wracked my brain for a way to calm down without drawing attention to myself. I needed to stop before it got worse. Before I needed another bathroom to cry in again. Slowly, I reached for the drink I had ordered. The cold plastic surprised me but I brought it closer to my mouth and began to sip.

_You are alone._

My cheeks filled with the syrup and the cold made my face flush. I kept sipping hoping the bad thoughts would go away. I closed my eyes and let my thoughts jumble, trying to find the piece that needed to be fixed. My phone buzzed and I reached for it.

"How is the study session?" His voice immediately calmed me down.

_You are okay._

I hesitated before responding. "The bad thoughts are back," I told him. I could hear the sigh against the background noise. Tears started to well up in my eyes as I readied myself for a lecture.

"This is what you wanted. You put your whole life in a backpack and moved for it, right?" he told me.

_First teardrop._

_Second teardrop._

"Yeah. I did." I replied sadly.

_Third, fourth, fifth._

"Then don't let them win."

_Sixth, seventh, eighth._

I bit my lip and nodded furiously. They can't win again.

"We're all rooting for you, attorney. You can do this, Sakura! You're making all of us very proud just by taking the challenge of going to law school."

The grip on my shoulders loosened and everyone was talking normally again. It was like someone turned the volume down in the coffee shop. My heartbeat went back to a normal pace, my shaking stopped and I wiped away the sweat on my hands with a tissue.

Thank you was all I could say.

* * *

It's been a couple of years, hasn't it? I don't know how well my writing has improved or worsened but it felt amazing to write this. I wrote this for my school publication's literary folio back in August 2019 because they required unpublished work and I very well couldn't give them any of the stuff I have on this website. Unfortunately, it was too long and didn't make the cut as they preferred 'shorter' pieces so I thought to publish it here.

I guess you could say this is the unofficial sequel to my 2016 story 'Anxiety and Coffee' which was based on my social anxiety at the time. If you ever read that story and related to it, I hope that you've rid yourself of those nasty monsters and become happier and healthier.

I hope to write more soon.


End file.
